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A Butler's Loneliness

Updated: Nov 16, 2023

Some who choose the life of a butler report feeling lonely at times. However, it can be said that in any work or career, one may well feel lonely at times. Butlers in private service commonly work 50-60 hours a week or more, and typically five and a half to six days per week, because a good butler is the first one up and the last to go to bed in a household. Even in a live-out position, where one does not reside in the house where one is employed as a butler, the butler is still likely to be the first staff member awake in the house in the mornings, and the one who locks up upon exiting at night.

Personal note: Personally, I prefer positions that are live-in. Why? Because of two reasons. First, there is no commute time, and secondly, the butler's quarters are usually very lovely apartments in the main house, a carriage house, or a cottage on the property.

It is clearly not the norm to have a career as a butler and at the same time have a personal romantic relationship. Many butlers are married or do have personal relationships, so I do not intend to discourage you. You will have to find out for yourselves what shape you build your life.

However, many who are well-suited to be butlers find that a well-lived career is one of the greatest possible accomplishments. They find that a great career spanning decades is right up there with having a mate, having a family, and having lots of good friends. They pick a career as a butler with care and love for how much good they can do for others throughout their careers.

We all agree there is a huge difference between being alone and being lonely. In my opinion, being a butler is the best work one could ever do.


Kenneth V. Horne

Potter Poppins Academy is a butler training school in the United States. The Academy, led by esteemed head butler Kenneth V. Horne, offers courses such as Elite Butler Training, Hotel Butler Training, classes for principals new to managing household staff, courses in etiquette and protocol for business professionals, manners courses for children and young adults, and bespoke service consulting.

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